So I have thought about this for a while now. I don’t think blogging is for me in my current condition. So this will be the end of my blog, for now (if I start a new one it will probably be under another name).




Have you ever felt like you are in a rut and down on your luck? If so I am right there with you. I am not sure what it has been recently but at times I feel like everything that can go wrong will go wrong, I realize this is a little bit of an over exaggeration but at times that is the way it feels. I also realize there are a lot of people out there who are worse off than I am.

I will admit that I have made choices that did not turn out very well for me, even though at the time they seamed like really good ideas. If I would have graduated from college a year sooner, which I very easily could have gotten my 4 year degree in 3, I probably would have landed an actuarial job. But in all honesty a lot of people don’t get jobs in the field that they went to college for, so I guess this would have to be fairly normal. I notice a lot of little things like this where I try to make the best decision based on the facts I have available to me at the time, and they don’t always end up being good ones. As a note I do realize that I don’t know how the other choice(s) would have turned out and am just speculating on how things could have been different, who knows maybe I did make the better choice(s) even though they don’t always seem to turn out good. That is all part of life.

What really kills me are things that are outside of my control. The most recent big one was my phone deciding that sometime on the morning of my interview that it was not going to receive incoming phone calls. The job that I was going to interview for probably was the best matched position I had interviewed for since graduating from college. This is the type of stuff that always happens to me.

Right now being unemployed for over 10 months it just feels like I can’t catch a break. I have learned not to get my hopes up anything, seeing that when ever something seems to be going my way something or someone can always burst my bubble.

This makes me think of another post that I started about a month ago or so, I never finished it and never published it. It is about the way that I am currently viewing people and what I really feel most of my friendships are, I might go back and finish it and then debate with myself if I want to publish it.


The other day I caught the end of NBC’s Dateline special report on the effects of Hurricane Katrina on New Orleans. I only caught the last 20 minutes or so of the show but there were somethings about the show that really didn’t set very well with me.

The point of the show from what I got was to remind America what people had to live through the weeks after Katrina hit New Orleans and the rest of the coast. They also went along to complain about the government’s response to the disaster. I think everyone will agree that the government dropped the ball on helping the people who were hit by the natural disaster.

My problem with the report was that they were focusing on how these people were looking for water, food all these things that the government should have and could have brought to the people sooner than they did. I understand the point that they had black-hawk helicopters were all ready flying around in the area and can hold a lot of supplies. What was preventing the news media from finding corporations/wealthy individuals who wanted to help with the relief effort and getting food and water into the disaster area. And rather than telling people “God Bless” as you pass them in the street why don’t you put down the camera and the microphone and actual help the people who were in need.

I could keep going on about how this news story irritated me. All that I can say is that as far as the media goes there has to be a point where they will start to care more about the people in their story rather than the ratings that their story is going to generate.


So I think I am going to try something different in this blog post. I think I know what I want to do with the next chapter of my life, consult for a healthcare IT company. I so want to put the name of software company in my blog so I will get more results for this but I will refrain from doing that.

Here are some of the personal reasons why I think this will be a good position for me:

  • I can stay in Madison: I haven’t figured out what it is other than the fact that I am not a big fan of change, and if I consult and need to relocate to a new city I will not really meet a lot of new people.
  • I enjoy travel: The one part of my last job that I liked was when I got to work on site. I don’t know how traveling every week will be but you never know till you try it.
  • Most of my expenses will be covered by my company when I am on site.
  • The rewards: The one benefit of any job with a lot of travel are the reward, credit card, airline, hotel.
  • It is also doing something that I know I can do. I was let go from my last job which is the same thing I would do if I consult but the reason I was let go were not because of not being able to do my job well. The fact of know what to expect when going into a job is a big relief.

Now I just have the job at hand of getting hired by a consulting company. I have a contact that is pretty sure he can get me into his consulting company.

Here is hoping and praying that I can get a consulting company to hire me. All I need to do is get an interview I have been doing research on how to nail an interview.


I have done anything on here in a while so I figured what better night than tonight, seeing that it is after 1 in the morning and I am wide awake. Actually at about 10:30 I was ready to crash and call it a night, but of course once I tried to go to sleep I couldn’t.

Living on my own is still going great. Seeing that I lived with roommates I can now say that I tried it and didn’t like it. I figure almost anything is worth trying and you don’t know if you will like it until you try it. The one thing I have started to do since living on my own is cooking, and I cook almost every night now. The only problem is that cooking for 1 I think is a lot harder than cooking for multiple people, at least if you want to minimize left overs and waste. So I bought 5 lbs of potatoes and am getting a little sick of potatoes now, after a week I still have over half the bag left. I made mac and cheese from a box and found out that old mac and cheese doesn’t really taste all that great.

The other day I drew a picture of a tree using a technique that I learned in 7th grade. Lets just say that the picture did not turn out as I would have liked. I feel like if I keep going I am just going to ramble on and on about nothing really at all.

So I am pretty sure I know what is causing my insomnia now. The worse part is that I don’t really know what to do about it at this current moment I guess I just need to wait and hope that it goes away.


I am now in an apartment by myself, and can’t express with words how happy I am. Everything is unpacked and I have just a little bit of organization left to do.

So this apartment experience is different from any other one that I have had since I have moved out of my parents house. I have made friends with one of my neighbors, I know this sounds weird but I have not made friends with a neighbor since I moved out of my parents house. She just moved to the Madison area from Florida and doesn’t know a lot of people in the Madison area yet. I am so happy that I can now say I made friends with a neighbor. My friends that moved me came over for pizza last night and my neighbor came over for pizza as well.

Things will only continue to get better 🙂


So my birthday is just about over, I really don’t see the big deal with birthdays. I must admit that I had fun tonight. I had 2 friends get me ice cream cake and pizza, which was a lot of fun (1 of them had never had ice cream cake before). I had planned on going downtown to get my mug from the nitty gritty and had planned on going to the comedy club, but this just hasn’t been a high energy day or week. I was supposed to meet up with someone but just didn’t feel like going downtown.

What I don’t understand is when people think the whole world revolves around them just because it is your birthday. I may not like this because I haven’t had an actual birthday party since I was in elementary school. The people who think they can do what they want, and everyone else has to deal with it because it is their birthday just really get under my skin.

Really what makes your birthday special? I don’ think it is the fact that thinking you can do what you want and tell people what you want them to do because you were born on this day many years ago. I would rather spend my birthday with a few people who actually want to spend the day with me than people who are only spending the day with you because it is your birthday.

Sorry I didn’t make it downtown, you know who you are.